Hinata Boardoms : Kwarto ni Shinobu

a surprise birthday bash!

2011-11-15T23:45:00.000+08:00

dear diary,

I had the best birthday party in years! I thank you everyone for coming! Mom and Dad were also there and I was really happy that they made it. I wasn't expecting a party -- especially seeing mom and dad again. Really. I wasn't.

How did I not see it coming? I was asked by Narusegawa-senpai to come with her to the market district. She said that her classmates were planning a pot-luck at Toudai and Naru-senpai wanted to bring her share. She personally asked me to help her create a dish that would wow the whole crowd. I was really flattered that Naru-senpai would ask me to help her; it's as if I'm about to accomplish a feat that would amaze university students. I helped her right away and left in the morning.

I was also thinking what recipe I should teach to Naru-senpai. We were walking from one shop to another and Naru-senpai didn't mind. Come to think of it... So that's why she didn't mind! We took quite some time before we decided what we'd prepare for the pot-luck. After buying everything, we headed home. "And SURPRISE!"

"Wha- what's all this, everyone?"

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SHINOBU!!" yelled everyone in unison. And when I say, everyone, I mean EVERYONE. I was surprised indeed.

I can't write down every fun thing we've done. But there was one game that stood out; Keitaro-senpai called it command and conquer. There were two teams. Everyone was blindfolded except for one person of each team. Those players who were blindfolded were given water balloons and their 'commander', the player without the blindfold, was giving the orders where to throw the water balloons. We played it last as I got to prepare going to bed after the game. Still, the party continued without me. I mean I can still hear them laughing downstairs.

Kentaro-san brought a dance machine, Kitsune-san borrowed a karaoke machine and Keitaro-senpai brought his camera with him, the camera that professional photographers use? I forgot what it's called. But it wasn't really about the activities that made me the happiest girl in the world. What made me happy is the presence of the people that spent their time for me and celebrated my birthday with me. It's a birthday, it's a celebration of your birth and so I'm happy because my friends, my family is happy for my birth -- that they're here right now and I can truly feel their love and concern for me. I have a loving family. I have loving friends. I'm in a circle of people who love me.

preparations: check. special guest: erm...

2011-07-31T20:19:00.000+08:00

It's Kanako-san's birthday tomorrow. I brought all what's necessary to bake the perfect cake. We're keeping the ingredients hidden, because Kanako-san might find out. It's hard to bake because she is always hanging out in the apartment lately. We were only very lucky this afternoon that Kanako-san went out to run some errands. Or else, we'd be baking while everyone is asleep.

What concerns me a bit is that Keitaro-senpai might have forgotten Kanako-san's birthday tomorrow. Keitaro-senpai has been working on this autobiography and he's also been staying in campus this week. I've only seen Keitaro-senpai once this week and then he left immediately. I wonder if Keitaro-senpai's going home tomorrow. I'm sure Kanako-san would want that.

Motoko-san just came back yesterday. I think she went home for an errand as well. But she looks relieved when she got back.

"I can't believe I was doing something stupid." I heard in the lobby.

"Motoko-san! Okaeri."

"Shinobu, please... please make something sweet for me. I feel so irritated!" she pleaded. I made some eclairs for her. I wonder why she feels so irritated.

are things back to normal?

2011-07-13T19:42:00.000+08:00

"Shinobu-chan, have you seen Keitaro-senpai?"

"I think he just left for school-- Eh-- Motoko-san! Why?" Motoko-san left right away.

She looked like she was on a mission. I'm not sure. Motoko-san is really a serious person. She has this determined look when she does something. Whenever I see her do her homework in the lobby, whenever she cooks with me, Motoko-san always look serious and determined. She just gave me that serious look this morning. Motoko-san also looked like she was on a hurry. I thought that Keitaro-senpai might have forgotten something and Motoko-san went after senpai.

Our culinary club is doing well. We've also gained some male members last two weeks. It's funny, isn't it? I think a lot of boys joined when my senpai at the track team joined. Or it's probably just a coincidence.

one more for the culinary club

2011-06-16T20:27:00.000+08:00

My senpai at the track team visited me after school. Senpai said that she quit the team as well. We chatted for a while in my room and I said I'm fine. I mean, I'm still active at the culinary club. I was wondering why she quit. I didn't expect that she would ask for my help; she wants to join the culinary club. She said that she wants to learn how to cook. She said his boyfriend is looking forward to hand-made lunches. And so she wants to cook for his lunch everyday. Everyday?

It's funny how our conversation turned out. I thought that she'd be sad for quitting, but I found out that she doesn't like how the club works. Senpai says she can't wait for the seniors to graduate. She complained how greedy their system works. I said I'd definitely help senpai join the culinary arts club. Apparently, there's also a district cook off that the culinary club is interested to join.

go.

2011-06-10T22:38:00.001+08:00

dear diary,

I ran with all my heart. I ran like I've never ran before. I ran as my life depended on it. And I'm glad that I ran today.

It's been a fun experience. And I thanked everyone who were there for me today.

get set.

2011-06-09T20:47:00.000+08:00

dear diary,

Tomorrow's the day. I can't give up now, diary. I'll do my best! I'll run with all my heart and I'll make sure I do. Even though I feel kind of weird right now, I'm going to show up tomorrow and not let my senpais down -- especially to my senpai who have given her time to me helping me train. It has been a long journey. I know it's going to be a first experience but no matter what happens, I'll do my best! Fight-o!

dazed but not down

2011-06-07T22:25:00.000+08:00

I knew it. My body couldn't handle the workout. When I woke up this morning, I had a running fever. The weather changed too soon. I couldn't really get up. My legs were all stiff. I tried to walk downstairs to make some icepacks for my knees. I didn't expect to collapse.

Motoko-san saw me and carried me back to my room. She said to just take it easy today. She said I was feeling normal. I guess she's right, I mean she knows how to practice her workout properly. I'm just a bit worried whether I could make it into the district's athletic meet. I don't want to let everybody down.

Naru-senpai called the school this morning. And my track senpais went to visit me. They said they were sorry for being hard on me, but I never believed they were hard on me. Not even a thread of belief. I was just new. Even if I was practicing for two weeks, I still have a lot to learn. The athletic meet is on Friday, June 10. If we make it into the top 3, we'll proceed to the prefectural meet. Which is a lot tougher, around 29th of June.

I'm marking that on my calendar, since everybody believes that I can do it. I'm confident we'll be on the Prefectural meet.

run to the track

2011-05-25T20:53:00.001+08:00

dear diary,

I have track and field practice today. I had to wake up extra early. I personally volunteered to be on the track team. I thought that I could try something different before summer.

When I look around me, everyone I know are trying out different activities. And I don't want to be left behind. At school, there are people who like writing, photography, drawing, acting, and sports. I like to cook but I think I might discover something if I join a sports team. It won't necessarily improve my cooking but it's something new.

I startled Keitaro-senpai when he was having his breakfast. When I tapped him on his shoulder, he suddenly raised his arms and almost threw up his toast. When he was startled I got startled too. The kitchen was very quiet. It was still early too. It was perfect to space out.

When I arrived at the track, I was exhausted already because I jogged on my way to school. Anyway, I was a bit nervous and I didn't really know what to do. My senpai in charge of me said that I could do a few time lapse to start my profile. Then I will work in beating my record from then. I have two weeks to work out.

"I'm so tired." oh no! I promised Keitaro-senpai to make a special dinner tonight. "Uwaa... I want to sleep." I realized when I was on my way home. So I took a detour to buy grocery first. I pushed myself even further.

I made my mom's special for everyone. The trouble's worth it. After seeing everyone's smiles, I forgot how tired I was.

"Hora, everyone thank Shinobu-chan." Keitaro-senpai might have noticed how exhausted I am. "This is the best, Shinobu-chan. Thank you. We'll cleanup everything."

"Ehh?!" moaned Kitsune-san.

"Kitsune-san..." Narusegawa-senpai replied.

"Hai."

I can say today's a big success. I can go to sleep easy thinking of how much I've accomplished for one day. It's always hard to live life to the fullest. However it's no reason for me to give up. Because I really want to live my life to the fullest.

operation m-bday [part 2]

2011-03-04T01:14:00.001+08:00

After a half-hour, Motoko-san and Kaolla-san brought some food. The food was all over the place, from burgers to pizzas to fries to... soup?! I almost fainted because what we bought looks like a desperate attempt for the sake of having something to eat. Motoko-san did buy a bit of Oriental eats. And Kaolla-san bought some noodles, I can make a quick ramen using the stock from the soup!

There was no time to get distracted. I just had to press on. I felt the time pressure just like from those iron-chef contests in TV.

I asked Motoko-san to buy fruits so I can make smoothies. She ran so fast, I wasn't even able to tell her what fruits I wanted. Oh no.

After another half-hour, in comes Sara-san and Kitsune-san with the party materials, like hats and balloons.

"Yokatta." but. "Ano... where's the cake?"

"I thought we already have one!" surprised them both. I didn't know what to say.

"Oh no! All right! Leave it to me! Do you know what kind of cake should I get?"

"Just get chocolate, Kitsune-san."

"Ryokai!" she zooms off.

Just a couple of minutes before 2PM, Keitaro-senpai called my cellphone. He said that they were about to head back.

"Ano, senpai. The cake is still not here and we're still setting up the apartment with decorations."

"Ok. I'll see what I can do--" he said. "Oh... no one!"

"Senpai?"

"Mutsumi-san, I'm just calling my friend here and I'm just telling my friend about the weather and... and that I am going to hang up. Ahaha. Bye." I can overhear them, and Mutsumi-san almost knew her birthday surprise.

Two hours after noon, the place is set, the smoothies are done, the cake is here and everyone has their party hats on and Keitaro-senpai texted me that they're absolutely heading back. I replied back and said that we were ready.

"Ano, Shinobu-chan. I'm really sorry for what happened." Kaolla-chan said. She was a bit nervous and fidgety.

"Mou, Kaolla-chan, it's okay now! It was a tough fight! But I think everything's all right!"

Kaolla-chan had a camera set up to check if they're here. It was a nifty tool. And then...

"Shhh! They're here!" said Kitsune-san.

When the door opened.

"SURPRISE!" blasted everyone! Mutsumi-san got really surprised as she almost fell backwards outside door.

"Surprised?" Oh, it's Narusegawa-senpai.

"H- hai. Is this a party? A party for whom?" That was when I just smiled. Mutsumi-san actually forgot that it's her birthday today?

"Here's your present." Keitaro-senpai gave her a present.

"Oh? For me?" And there's this one moment that truly captured what she wanted to say.

"Thank you, everyone."

"Happy birthday, Mutsumi-san."

operation m-bday [part 1]

2011-03-04T01:10:00.001+08:00

"Kaolla-san! What happened?!"

"Eeeto. I'm sorry. My robot prototype just burned down the kitchen."

This is what happened first thing in the morning. First thing in the morning! It was 7AM. We were about to hold a party for Mutsumi-san here at the inn and I left all the preparations in the kitchen for Mutsumi-san's birthday. Unfortunately, everything had been burned. I was panicking because I was in charge of the food. Demo demo demo!

"OH. MY. WORD!" Haruka-san rubbed her eyes again. "Nope, still burned. If I can recall today's Mutsumi-san's birthday and you guys were all set. But-- okay I know where this is going. Wait here. I'll make some calls."

Eventually, everyone wakes up and finds the mess. It was no use to blame Kaolla-san. Besides it was the prototype robot who made the mess.

Haruka-san sent some repairmen to fix the kitchen and so the inn is off-limits.

"Okay, we'll just have to buy some food for the party." said Keitaro-senpai. "We'll prepare the food we can easily prepare but for the cake, I think we'll need to buy one. There's no more time to bake a cake. Kitsune-san? Do you have any plan?"

Then Kitsune-san began laughing in a creepy manner. "We'll just party at Mutsumi-chan's house. We'll use her kitchen. First we'll have to distract her away from the house and then that's the time we'll make preparations."

"For how long?" asked Motoko-san.

"We need at least two hours to set up everything, but two hours is already pushing it." I said.

"I'm in. I like this challenge. I can work fast." said Motoko-san.

We went to Mutsumi-san's house around noon and everyone was skeptic that Mutsumi-san would buy our excuse. I mean, she knows it's her birthday today! And look, I'm really embarrassed that I don't have anything prepared. Isn't it awkward to just show up on her door without anything without warning on her birthday?

I was constantly looking down.

When Motoko-san pushed the doorbell. I tried to hide behind Kaolla-san. But Kitsune-san pushed me forward hid behind me instead!

"Ara ara. How nice. Can I help you guys with something?""

"WHY YES!! It looks like our-- uhh... kitchen burned down thanks to Kaolla. The repairmen said it'll take one day to fix everything. And we really need a place to cook. Shinobu insisted that we use your-- uhh-- kitchen for a moment because we haven't eaten breakfast... or lunch yet. Ahaha."

"Oh my. That's terrible. All right, you can use my kitchen. Come in everyone and make yourself comfortable." Everyone kept looking at each other because-- they're not sure what's going on, I guess. I mean, does Mutsumi-san know that it's her birthday today? Or is she just pretending that she doesn't know? Isn't our big crowd already a hint that we're planning a party?

I heard Kitsune-san mumble behind me: 'yes! my plan is going to work.' And then I thought Kitsune-san wasn't even sure of her plan?! This is going to be a disaster.

Afterwards, Kitsune-san gave Keitaro-senpai a nudge.

"Ano, Mutsumi-san, can you help me go buy something downtown? We won't take long." asked Keitaro-senpai.

"Sure."

When they left, we assigned each other various tasks. Here's the plan: Kaolla and Motoko-san are in-charge of the food. Sara-chan and Kitsune-san are in-charge of the cake and party materials. While I tried to check if I could make something quick from what I salvaged from the kitchen. We'll meet back after an hour.

I'll always have His truth

2011-01-01T00:00:00.002+08:00

God,

At the start of 2011, thank You for Your providence and Your love, Your protection that we carry everywhere we go and Your guidance everyday we wake up. Thank You for the blessings that I don't fail to receive. Thank You for all the challenges and all the solutions. Thank You for your embrace that gives me warmth and joy that carry me through each day. I pray that You continue to work within us as a whole and continue to inspire me that I may do things in proper. Help me to do my best. Lead me on and I shall follow. Instill in us Your peace and strength that we can maintain ourselves and carry our responsibilities each day. For the whole year, please be with us wherever we go. Please be with me because I need You. And I pray that You watch over my family and this household for this brand new year of 2011.

Amen.

a bowl of spaghetti brings happiness

2010-11-22T17:12:00.003+08:00

Call it lucky, but I'm very happy that I made spaghetti tonight. Everybody at Hinata Sou seemed to enjoy it. Except for Kaolla, she wanted the spaghetti extra spicy but I said no. I just gave her share and she added so much spice I could smell it and my throat hurt. It wasn't funny. And her tomato sauce turned brown as well.

When everybody finished eating, Keitaro-senpai was still at school. Naru-san said that Keitaro-san will be cursed if he missed the spaghetti I made. I didn't know it was that good. When I tasted it, I thought that there was something missing. I think I knew what was missing. I said to Naru-san that I'd save Keitaro-san his share in the fridge.

Around 10:30pm, everyone's asleep. I checked the kitchen and saw Keitaro-senpai very tired. He was checking the cupboard; he was probably looking for something to eat.

"Oh, Shinobu-chan. You're still awake?"

"Senpai, I saved you a bowl of spaghetti. Let me heat it up for you."

"NO WAY!" I jumped from the floor. It already very quiet in the apartment and Keitaro-senpai surprised me. "THAT'S WHAT I JUST WANTED TO EAT TONIGHT!"

"Eh?" I put in the microwave.

"You have no idea! It was a very long day in campus... and I was very crabby... and I was craving for some spaghetti. I just wanted to eat some. I didn't care about my subjects anymore. My hands were clenched on my desk waiting for the time to go home so I could probably cook for my own... but now! After all the hardwork and drama! I can eat spaghetti! With a lot of cheese and meatballs--

"Here you go." I smiled and gave it to senpai.

"YOU'RE A LIFE SAVER!" I think I saw a tear trail on his cheek.

"Mou, Keitaro-senpai. You're overreacting."

"No!... This is too good. Thank you." he sniffed.

enter the cold summer night

2010-07-21T21:28:00.001+08:00

Indeed it was a very hot summer day. However, I've had fun today. I guess I could say that Keitaro-senpai and I went on a short date. I didn't mind the heat. When the person you love is right next to you, you wouldn't stop to take time and notice how hot or cold the temperature is. I just enjoyed the time with him.

The date wasn't really a date. Keitaro-senpai just complained how hot really is and I said that I could make ice cream for everyone. Then before I know, Keitaro-senpai wanted me to come with him and buy ingredients for the homemade ice cream. Ano... I could've just given him a list, right? But no. I wanted to come with Keitaro-senpai.

Just as I wanted to hurry back and make ice cream, I noticed that Keitaro-senpai was enjoying idling inside the air-conditioned grocery store. It really was funny. Then when we came back, he decided that we should take a run for it. He said he couldn't stand the heat outside and so we wasted no time. And after making it back, I headed straight and made ice cream. But of course we had to wait until the ice cream becomes cold and ready. Oh that's why Keitaro-san bought all those cold juice, soda, mint and juice flavored mint soda. And he's pretty hyper too tonight from all that sugar.

no no no no no no no! covers ears

2010-03-21T21:47:00.001+08:00

Mitsune-san is such a meanie! She was reading a horror magazine out loud while I was cooking! She gave out the suspense so fast that I didn't had the time to leave the kitchen! After that, when we were eating, she also kept asking questions to everyone if they heard 'this' urban legend and 'that' urban legend; everybody was so engrossed. I wanted to leave the table but I could still hear her from afar. I closed my ears but it's too late! All those stories and scary ideas are locked in my mind. And now, I can't sleep! Mou, Mitsune-san! Don't tease me like this! Why did you have to share that story that I can't help but think there might be some lady under my bed; with her eyes wide open and her grin from ear to ear... and that family who stayed in a hotel and their 3 year old child noticed a hand was sticking out the toilet and went to tell his parents and the parents thought--- how could a 3 year old child tell this kind of lie-- and so they left... or that reflection that froze and kept smiling at you while your face is already in horror-- GYAH! That's it! I'm sleeping next to Kaolla-chan!

close my eyes. things are gonna be all right

2010-01-01T00:38:00.000+08:00

God,

As a new year starts, I thank You for all the guidance and blessings that You've given to us. I thank You for the financial support, the material blessings and the people that help me everyday. I thank You for the happiness and the sorrow. I thank You for the experiences sweet and bitter that taught me lessons in life. Let Your presence dwell in me. Refresh my heart and my soul and provide each of us with a sound spirit and a sound mind. Fill me with Your presence and continue to guide me unto this brand new year. Travel with me wherever I go; make us safe and secured. Lead and I shall follow. Help us maintain our steady health just like You have kept us healthy last year. Bless this household as we work and study. Encourage us to be strong and motivated as we tackle this year's challenges. Inspire us with your holy spirit that no problems would hinder us on this coming year. Continue to watch over me and my household and fill us with your joy and love.

This is my prayer. Amen.

doko ni ikimasu ka?

2009-11-13T22:52:00.000+08:00

I couldn't sleep. When Keitaro-senpai told me that he's leaving Japan for an overseas trip, I felt happy and sad at the same time. Senpai told me that I'm actually the first person to know this news; I was happy. I felt like someone special. But I was really sad to know that he'll be leaving soon. Let's just say that I want to spend some time with Keitaro-san. I don't want him to go. But he's going on a business trip with Seta-san for 4 months. Even though I don't want him to go, it's impossible to stop him. I'm such a selfish girl. I can only pray for senpai's safe trip and his safe return.

Hora, it's not like he'll be leaving tomorrow. I have to make most of the time with senpai before he leaves.

what is going on?

2008-07-19T22:01:00.000+08:00

"Naru-senpai! Your phone is ringing!"

I wonder where Naru-senpai went today. She left the apartment around noon. But she forgot her cellphone in her room.

Just when I was about to answer the cellphone the caller hangs up.

"Keitaro-san?" 15 missed calls?

When I called Keitaro-san, his phone suddenly gone out of coverage. Maybe he ran out of batteries. I was especially worried. I wonder what happened.

Then it hit me. If it was an emergency, then he'd call the apartment. However, Keitaro-san didn't call the apartment. So I guess that it's a private matter between, Narusegawa-senpai and Keitaro-san?

And I almost called Keitaro-san I didn't want to bother anyone.

How come Naru-senpai's phone is here? Did she forget? And she's not here yet.

i am.

2008-06-02T22:26:00.001+08:00

After Mom and Dad asked me to come and live with them for a year, I've realized that I've been missing something at home. Home. What a strange word. Where is home?

I haven't written for a year. Sorry. I forgot my diary at Hinata inn. I've been angry at myself for that incompetence and it exaggerated my actions. I stopped writing.

I'm now okay, and I understand what Mama and Papa wanted. They've missed me. I'm happy. I've become a better person. It's like what I've watched on TV. I've realized that I'm more independent than what I think.

I bought this new diary. I'll never replace the old one though. Before I left, everyone promised that my room will stay intact. I've occasionally visited Hinata Inn when I was staying with my Mama and Papa, but yes, the overwhelming happiness made me forget to bring my old diary. Baka.

Tomorrow will be the day.

however i wish

2008-02-05T20:33:00.000+08:00

Mama and Papa dropped by today. They were asking if I could stay with them for a while. Keitaro-san didn't know what to do. I didn't want to say either. They looked worried. It's like I couldn't turn them down.

Mama and Papa made up. I mean, really made up now. There are no more problems and the misunderstanding is cleared. Ureshii. But what is this tearing sensation that I feel inside?

Would it be unfair for them if I didn't go?

bends and bumps from a new dish

2007-02-03T23:43:00.000+08:00

Why am I so excited when I learn a new dish? There's this urge to jump around and announce to everyone the new discovery. There's also the anxiety and the unwanted feeling of rejection accompanied by it. Of course, everyone will have a bite or sip at it so I can't help but feel nervous about it. Sometimes I keep it a secret, the new dish that is, before I can make up my mind into persuading everyone to have a taste of it. Gyah! Especially if you'll ask the one special for you if it's any good. Eto... doushiyo? At any rate. I should ask someone to taste my new experiment... erm... experiment? Sounds weird.

don't think of a competition

2007-01-31T21:51:00.000+08:00

Tomorrow is February. And when we talk about February, Valentines Day pops out first among a lot of people. My friends are very eager of February 14 -- especially the boys of my class. I bet they're all looking forward to having chocolates in their lockers. I wonder if it's the same at Keitaro-senpai's campus. I mean, do college students still do that? I wonder if Naru-senpai will give him one.

a december morning sickness

2006-12-01T07:58:00.000+08:00

I didn't go to school today. Boy, it's just the start of December and I'm already having headaches in the morning. Hai, I didn't go to school today because I have a headache the moment I woke up. It's almost lunchtime and I wonder who will be cooking. Everyone knows I decided to turn in bed. Mmm... soueba I should stay in bed.

say it ain't so

2006-10-28T21:46:00.000+08:00

dear diary,

I don't feel good, diary. While I was drying the clothes, I felt a breeze and I sneezed. While I was washing the dishes, I also started sneezing. After taking a bath, I felt a chill and the next thing I knew is I kept sneezing like crazy. I maybe coming down with a cold. It would be a good idea if I sleep after. Oyasumi nasai.

amazing rave

2006-09-19T22:39:00.000+08:00

I didn't notice that it's already half- past ten. Kitsune-san's novel is remarkable. Her novel has a lot of secrets that tease me to continue reading. Sometimes, I have to backtrack a few pages to fully understand the circumstances in the story. She's an effective writer.

I wonder if all of Kitsune-san's books are like this. I like his romantic novels. I like the way she motivates her audience to create his / her own fantasy. I got involved too with -- Keit... dame. He already has someone. Dame desu.

"Well it's my fantasy. I'm keeping it."

that's my job!

2006-07-02T21:44:00.000+08:00

The winds picked up and branches started flying, but it never occurred to me to move away from the window. It's going to rain again.

I don't know why I feel so alone. But, I'm all about just living in the moment, and at the moment, I'm very happy about where I am now. Alone -- and happy.

"Keitaro-oniichan! Hayaku, dinner's ready! I made your favorite! Hayaku. Come on, it's going to get cold if you don't hurry. But I'm sure it's still oishi even if it's cold."

"Kanako? Ano, you don't have to drag me to the kitchen."

Alone -- and happy? I'm playing mindgames with myself as of the moment.

nearing the limits

2006-05-31T23:29:00.000+08:00

I'm sorry. I think that I have feelings for Keitaro-senpai and that I feel glad everytime I see him. Naru-senpai is being unreasonable and she always deny that she has feelings for him. I can't believe that Naru-senpai would still insist that they're relationship is entirely subjective. I believe that nothing will happen between them if Naru-senpai is firm as ever, pounding their bond only as a landlord-tenant relationship. Of course, I can't tell Naru-senpai that. This is the only place I can speak what I honestly think.

After all what happened between them. Naru-senpai maintains silent and doesn't show anything to Keitaro-senpai. I couldn't help overhear their conversations limited to academics only. Soueba, why would they talk mushy inside the inn? They would probably go to the park, sit on a bench, and... and... I feel weird. I think I need to sleep.

rain in summer

2006-04-21T22:10:00.000+08:00

"Rain? In the middle of summer?"

... And it's still raining tonight. I'm just glad the laundry managed to dry up yesterday. I wonder. It started raining in the morning and it hasn't stopped yet. Mmm, the world has dramatically changed.

Anyway, it's not all bad. Summer days are awfully hot in Japan. It's usually noisy outside too during summer. I like the quiet ambience and the cool air when it's raining. I feel extra refreshed when it rains in the night -- it's extra cold.

The weather is so unpredictable these days.

cursive dilemma

2006-03-22T23:30:00.000+08:00

Wah... what should I do? My parents, as well as Haruka-oneechan, are out of town. But, I'm too timid to tell Keitaro-senpai to sign my waiver for my field trip! It's due next week! You should make a move, Shinobu.

It's hard to ask Keitaro-senpai, since she told me to ask Kitsune instead. How should I tell Keitaro-senpai that I'd like him to sign the waiver. I'm so introvert I couldn't even ask for a simple thing! I am so pathetic right now.

Signing my waiver is one thing, asking Keitaro-senpai to be my chaperone is another! Great, now I have two problems before me. I have no one else to ask to be my chaperone. My teacher told me that my chaperone should be a parent or a guardian. Which brings Kaolla-chan out of the picture and Sara as well.

My teacher also told me that it's better if the chaperone would be the same person who signed the waiver.

"How about Kitsune-oneechan?" She's probably busy. I heard she's doing a novel right now. "So that explains her out-of-tune rhythm." She sleeps during the day and writes during the night.

Motoko-senpai isn't available as well. Soueba, she's the one who referred Naru-senpai. However, I did ask Naru-senpai. She said to me that she has an exam next week. Her exam and my field trip fall on the same date. They're all out of the picture for being my chaperone.

Fate. It's as if my dilemma has been chosen by fate. I guess there's no other choice but to ask Keitaro-senpai to sign my waiver and be my chaperone for the field trip.

I really want to go that field trip. I hardly had any excursions back then. My parents were always busy.

not knowing beyond

2006-02-21T22:05:00.000+08:00

Isn't it a little awkward when everyone you know has a special someone. I feel left behind. I feel empty. I feel helpless. Can it be helped? Slowly, I realize the sensation of being alone.

Even though it's embarrassing, I want someone to know my state right now. I'd like him to know how I feel. But I won't let anyone to pity me. If that's the case, then forget about what I've just said.

Unusual Activity

2006-02-02T17:33:00.000+08:00

It's dark inside. A dim light won't make any difference. Like my feelings for him, I pity myself for the sacrifice. Still, I'm not blaming this light for the weak radiance. I don't blame him and I won't. Why would I? Do I have any right to stop their love?

It's rough. But I don't hate him for loving her. It's a couple designed from the heavens. But I don't want him getting hurt if something bad happens between their relationship.

I'm all alone. No one is grieving with me inside this four cornered prison. All I see before me are walls that tease my very existence. It's a complete jigsaw puzzle, but with an unused extra piece. Someone has replaced me. I'm so naive...